Well that settles it

Chuck Norris, seen in the early morning across America struggling to act the part of "Chuck Norris, Total Gym salesman" has stopped looking for black helicopters long enough to endorse Newt Gingrich. Newt obviously being an enthusiastic user of the "Total Gym" (and hoping to bag Christy Brinkley as spouse #4).

Pat Sajak will endorse Ron Paul because of his high-vowel percentage (you know it kills that crazy [yet boring] guy that Obama is so vowel-rich).